Buy wife gift on Mother’s Day? (001-Q2-Symon)

Symon asks, “Do you buy your wife a gift on Mother’s Day?”

Answer (From Podcast Episode 001):

Symon, I’m going to turn it around. Do you feel like you want to buy your wife a gift on Mother’s Day? I’m guessing you have some instinct telling you that you should, but also some logical feeling you shouldn’t have to buy your wife a gift on Mother’s Day. Okay. Yes, I’m inferring a bit based on the phrasing of your question.

Without getting into the whole commercialization of holidays, I think husbands sort of get a pass on Mother’s Day. I mean, it’s kind of optional. But the real key is your kids. Your kids need to get your wife something special. Because she is their mother. Make sure you help your kids either pick out a gift or make a gift. And once that’s done, I would say that you have the option of getting her something from you. A lot of guys do, some guys don’t.

The bottom line is, though, if your wife wants something from you on Mother’s Day, if it makes her feel special, if she is wanting one of those gifts from a husband. In essence, she’s looking for you to recognize and appreciate the fact that she’s a good mother to your children. That’s the whole point. Everybody knows that she’s not your mother. She knows that she’s not your mother. I’ve used that excuse in the past. It doesn’t really fly very well. A gift from you is to say that you do appreciate her for being the mother of your kids. Maybe you’ve thought of that, maybe not. It took me a while to realize it myself.

Now, as for gifts, I do like homemade gifts personally. I like to give her a coupon book. I like to do some project for her that I know she has wanted done around the house for months, or maybe years.

The problem with not getting her anything or doing anything special for her on mother’s day is that she might feel unappreciated. She’ll remember that you failed. Trust me, you’ll pay for it later. I don’t find that most women expect something huge. But something, anything, shows that you appreciate her for giving birth to your kids. It also, I think, sets a good example for your kids. That’s just my opinion. You can be a hero by making Mother’s Day a special day, and your kids will feel great about your efforts.

All right, Symon, if you want to try skipping a Mother’s Day gift, and not buying her a gift, go ahead. See how you feel afterwards. See how your wife responds. Eventually, though, I think you’ll end up seeing the light of day about it, and you’ll end up getting her a gift or treating her special on Mother’s Day. The wise married man kind of goes with the flow, possibly even erring on the side of giving. That’s my say on the matter. Good luck. Thanks for taking the time to ask. It’s a reasonable question.

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