Per Buck: “I suspect my wife is getting too close to one of her male co-workers. He is a nice guy, from what I can tell, but I’m worried their working relationship might develop into an office romance. Any advice on how to keep this from happening?”
Answer (From Podcast Episode 006):
Buck up, man. This is the way of the working world. People have to work together. Men and women. Your wife, depending on her job, will need to work with other guys. Some of these guys will be single. Some will be married.
After conferring with one of my personal Wise Married Mentors, we’ve come to a joint recommendation. Be a better man than the other guy. Don’t leave him any room to wiggle in, if that’s your worry. The best defense is a good offense.
Yes, you have to trust your wife. No, you shouldn’t trust that other guy. I wouldn’t trust an unknown guy near my wife, even if he has the reputation of a saint. But I can’t be there in person at all times. So my plan is to be there in my wife’s heart, at all times.
When my wife thinks I’m her everything, I’m so important to her, she loves me so much, then I worry much less about her falling for some other dude. Would I like her working with some other dude? No. To be honest. But all I can do is my best, to be the best husband I can.
I want my wife to be so in love with me that she would not stray, even with the most studly Hollywood heartthrob. Okay? So how do I ensure that? A lot of hoping, to be honest.
But the real question to keep asking is how happy is she with you, her husband? Win her heart and keep her heart. That’s the secret.
Your gut instincts should alert you if too many private, unnecessary meetings are happening. Is she staying out later than normal? Has her attitude toward you changed for the worse? Is she being more absent emotionally? I think you have to trust in the process of living the wise married man’s way, and by putting your best efforts into your marriage, rest easy, because that’s about all you can do.
A happy wife is less susceptible to straying. Keep you house in order. Be a better man. Love her better. She has to choose you every day. Don’t get lazy.
Buck up, buck. Good luck. Hang in there. I know it sucks to watch some other guy working closely with the woman you love.