Wife wants marriage counseling? (007-Q1-Ted)
Ted writes, “My wife wants us to go to marriage counseling. How do you feel about counseling?”
Answer (From Podcast Episode 007):
Ted, I’m in favor of it. Your marriage is important. More important that just about anything else in your life. At least it should be.
I know from experience that marriages have ups and downs. I also know that talking things out with your spouse is key. While not every problem can be solved entirely, most problems can be dealt with effectively. Because you are so close to your own situation, you may not see answers or possible solutions that others can suggest. Sometimes an outside perspective can really help.
In my own case, I’ve yet to try marriage counseling, but I wouldn’t be afraid to. So far, I’ve been lucky enough to not need it. Essentially, what I do, which works well, is try stepping outside my own ego, my own tunnel of vision, and look at the situation from my wife’s perspective. To put yourself in your wife’s shoes helps understand her point of view. I think marriage counselors can help you do this.
An impartial third party, who is a professional, wants to help you succeed.
All that being said, I very often hear complaints from married men who say they feel the counselor is always on the wife’s side. Frankly, that’s one of the reasons I wanted to do this podcast. I’m quite clearly the man’s side, not because I think the women are wrong, but because I’m standing in the man’s shoes. I can relate to the man’s side of the issue.
Now, if you really stick with me here, listening to the topics I present, asking questions, maybe participating in discussions, I believe you can improve yourself as a husband. That’s the goal. We want our wives to be happy.
I say do whatever it takes to improve your marriage, and a lot of that boils down to you, and how wise you are as a married man. Good luck. Keep tuning in, Ted.